Is there a right breed for my family? Which breed for me?

Deffo whippet or whippet x after rereading your post

I hope you find your dog. There are good and bad in every breed but I guess in your situation you have to be extra vigilant because of having such young children.

Hats off to for warming to staffies. I understand your misgivings but according to the kennel club they are rated as being extremely good with children. I do understand your reticence with all the bad press. Staffies are the only dogs I've ever had and the only dog I'm ever likely to have because I adore them, so I'm biased.

I think the advanced thought, consideration and preparation you and your whole family are going through on making this decision is fantastic, and in my opinion reflects highly on your suitability to be a dog owner.

Although you have 3 children under 5, it seems like they are already used to dogs, so it may be an idea to consider breed rescues or local rescue organisations where you would still be able to find a young dog to grow up with your kids, without having to go through the very young puppy stage.
Most rescues would be happy for you to make several visits, spend time with and walk dogs you are interested in to a)make sure you feel 100% this is the dog for your family and b)build a bond before rehoming.
Not all rescues are problem dogs - most end up needing rehomed through no fault of their own, and particularly if you go through breed rescues they can often provide a more detailed history of the dog's previous home/behaviour, and continue helping with advice and support well after rehoming. For example, our local Greyhound rescue allows adopters to bring their hounds to their secured fields to allow the dogs free-running exercise.

As for breeds suitable for your lifestyle and ability to exercise...having read some other posters suggestions as well as your own comments, I think Boxers are fantastic family dogs, and having seen many actually physically act like nannies with "their children" I think they would likely be my first choice if I had kids to consider.

Again, Staffies too, when responsibly bred and well trained (as with ALL dogs) can be superb family dogs, also with very strong nannying tendencies.

I'm not a massive fan of Labradors, though that's more to do with some owners than the dogs themselves - I think the ubiquity of Labs makes some people see them as naturally bomb-proof and needing less training than other breeds, which is obviously not the case for any breed at all. But Shane on here has a wonderfully trained, well bred Lab who is a shining example of how good they can be.

GSDs I will always have a high regard for - when my brother was young he used to sleep walk, and our GSD was glued to his side whenever this happened, ever the protector and always kept him safe. He would let us unruly kids climb over him, snuggle up with him and was genuinely an absolutely fantastic all-rounder.

You mentioned sighthounds too - I think your home and lifestyle would be ideal for a retired Greyhound. You may find a Greyhound rescue more than happy to home a dog in the kind of environment you can provide, even if your whippet breeder thinks sighthounds are not good for you. Many breeders wont sell if you don't fit the idea of what he/she would like for their baby, based on the characteristics/temperament etc they breed for - are they possibly working whippets by any chance?

Best of luck to you on your dog search. You have started well making it a family decision, working out how much time you can commit to exercise etc. Please keep us all informed if and when you make a choice, and of course photos are always well loved by all on here!

I've not read all the replies (skim read)

I would say that going to a rescue is a brilliant idea but I know that the RSPCA will certainly say no to you re-homing due to having 3 children under 5. I'm not sure about other rescues but it's certainly worth considering and getting in touch with some rescue centers (Dogs Trust, Greyhound Rescue and of course your local rescues.)

I would suggest a Whippet x Bedlington though, after reading your post. My Whippet x Bedlington is lovely. I cannot recommend the breed enough. He loves children (will play for hours) but is equally happy to have cuddles all day long. He's been easy to train and is just a joy to be with. Every single Beddy/Whippet I've met has been lovely and everyone whos ever had one always spots him and tells me how lovely the breed is.

100% Behind whippet x beddi post I have one and a lab, labs are amazing but really are in my opinion a handful.
my black lab is all me and can be aggressive to other dogs and jealous also when it comes to my attention.
the whippet x is by a long chalk best dog ever and we've had lots of breeds over the yrs.
contact lurcher rescue centres,
I have my first child on the way and as much as I love my dogs I still would not leave a child in attended with them.
its a lot to ask for a dog to distinguish between a human and a small baby

I think a cavalier king charles might be a good choice. I got one for my 6th birthday (not as irresponsible as it sounds, both my parents were dog people, they wanted a new dog i got to chose the breed), i had a 4 year old sister, and another sister was born after we got him. He was angelic around children even when the youngest used him as a hoist to learn to walk with!!! never growled or snapped, adored human company, but would remain sane and quiet and never made a mess even when left for a long time (longest was 14 hours, NOT intentional, I got stuck in traffic due to a big crash on the motorway).

They are such easy dogs and generally sound enough in temperament to play with children and as they aren't very big they can't knock littleuns over without realising!

I have got a labx and a golden retiever and both are happy with being walk for a 1hr-1.30 a day. either one long walk or two shorter ones.

The lab x is 18mhts and as long as she as has a chance to run like a loony she is fine.

If going to get a pure bred perhap ask for them to tell you which puppy is more laid back and go for that one.

But I can't see why eitehr labs or golden retiever would be a problem for you.


Ndidi

I'm a stay at home mum too, in a small two bed house and have a 4 year old.

We have a working line border collie, she's 5 months old and very sweet and affectionate.
We haven't had any issues with nipping or mouthing despite her teething at the moment, she's very good with our son and not even close to as crazy and boisterous as I thought she'd be. The breeder told us to only walk for 5 minutes per month of age so she doesn't get too much exercise but she's fine with it and quite happy to sleep or occupy herself with a chew toy in the meantime.
She's never chewed any furniture and she almost never barks and apart from sometimes trying to herd cars on a walk she's perfect.
Based on what ours is like, I'd definitely recommend them.

Rescue shelters are good because they can tell you a little about the dogs character, whether it is suitable with children, cats etc. I have three children, older than yours, but my local shelter was brilliant and extremely realistic about what would work and what wouldn't. I ended up with a trailhound, which does need a lot of exercise, but is the right dog for us.