Rhodesian Ridgeback is a Narcissist Questions

Discussion in 'Rhodesian Ridgeback' started by Dwight, Dec 29, 2024.

  1. Dwight

    Dwight New Member

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    Rhodesian Ridgeback is a Narcissist

    I am new to this or any forum. I am a first time owner of a pure breed Rhodesian Ridgeback. I am 64 years old and retired and waited a long time to own a RR. My RR, Martin Nelson, is 10 months old and weighs 110 pounds. He is extremely smart and I continue to participate in puppy training classes as I have read that RR's need to have consistent brain stimulation. He has completed his AKC Star Puppy certification. But...he is a Narcissist. I find as I am trying to train him, he is trying to train me. The nicer I treat him, the more he perceives it as he is the pack leader. It is a constant struggle. Is this common for the breed? He often walks up to me and turns his butt toward me for attention and looks back at me like I better rub his butt. We are now training for the AKC CGC award and he does not like to leave my side. Him not seeing me for me 3 minutes, a test task, is a major issue. I would like any advice on this issue.
    Thank you in advance for any input you can provide.
    Dwight :)

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  3. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Member

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    Tone and Azalea like this.
    Congrats on his puppy cert!!

    Dogs have personalities just like people. My Tornado-dog quickly turns things around on me - what I train him to do, he finds a way to turn it around and teach me something. It's the joy of having a clever dog. :044:

    Tornado-dog also hates to be separated from me. It's not so much separation anxiety, it's FOMO - fear of missing out. He is certain that if I leave him behind he will miss out on some great fun. It's difficult to convince him otherwise. He now will happily go outside and hunt for the vole while I stay inside, but as soon as he's done, he wants back with me.

    Since it's "only" 3 minutes, I would try teaching him "Be right back". Start using that anytime you get up and go to another room. Shut the door between you. Stay gone for just 30 seconds at first. When you return, tell him he is a good boy and give him a special play time or butt rub (as he seems to like those). Increase the time frame as he waits for you patiently. Then add in a bit of distance - doing trips to the mailbox, etc. And do it a lot throughout the day, not just once or twice. Let him get used to the idea that this is normal behavior.

    He may never be happy to be separated. Some dogs just really want to be with their person. They love you. But you should be able to get him to accept it better.
  4. Dwight

    Dwight New Member

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    Thank you for the advise. You are right on so many points. I have tried this but never used the I will be right back command. I tried the stay for 3 minutes. LOL. But after I come back to him, he will go to where ever I went and inspect to see what I have done. Yep, afraid of missing out on something. But the other day I left him on the couch where I allow him to sit sometimes and he did not want to follow me at all. When I came back, he was sitting where I normally sit and refused to move for me to sit down. He really wants to be the leader of the pack. Because of that behavior, I have stopped showing him so much affection as he likes. It is like a small argument. After a couple of days it goes back to normal. How can I tell if he is plotting to become the pack leader? OMG. Too much psychological work with him. A lot more than just sit or stay.
    Thanks Dwight
  5. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Member

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    CaroleC, Azalea and Tone like this.
    Drop the whole pack leader idea. Dogs (and wolves) grow up in family groups. There isn't a competition to be top of the pack - the mom and dad are in charge and older siblings provide additional guidance, just like with people.

    Use redirection and reward to stop unwanted behavior. If it's a behavior you can aniticipate, redirect him BEFORE he does it. So, with the couch, if you know he's going to steal your spot when you get up, redirect him to a toy before you get up.

    I never deny mine affection. He needs it. Instead, I use that redirection to be able to give affection without reinforcing unwanted behavior. So if he sits in my spot, I just tell him "I don't think so, move" (never harshly, but in a laughing tone). If he moves, I sit and then give him attention. If he doesn't move, then I go sit elsewhere and wait a moment. If he still doesn't move, then I redirect him to a game or a toy. Only when he does what I want do I give him that attention. So, he doesn't get attention because he took my spot, he gets attention because he chose to give my spot back.

    Yes, it's psychological warfare. You have to see him as a sentient creature with desires, needs, and emotions. And you have to learn how to give him what he wants and needs in a manner that is acceptable to you both.

    Tornado-dog lies, cheats and steals. He lives in the grey area of life - if you give him a command, he will find a way to warp it into something else. I'm proud of him for that. I don't want to force him to obey, I want him to comply. So I have to on what he expects out of it and find a way to make that mesh with what I want.

    Just now, my new bench arrived. I had to install the legs. Tornado-dog loves bubble wrap. So I held out a leg and told him to take it. He grabbed the bubble wrap cover and removed it from the leg, then went off with it. Repeat four times. He got to pop bubbles and I didn't have a dog in my way while I was working. Compliance without harshness.
  6. Tone

    Tone Member

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    CaroleC likes this.
    :lol: If only bubble wrap would work with mine @Toedtoes, he be like why do I want that? I’d rather be in the middle of what you’re doing!!
    I found that asking my springer to sit and stay was in small stages. Just stand in front of him with a command of stay or mine is wait. Then one step back wait and praise and then work another step over time. If he moves I would put him back to where he was and start all over again, I hold my hand up In front of him or a finger with the command of wait. Give him a couple of seconds then call him over, praise or reward when he comes. Baby steps and patience is key.
    As for the sofa, they both take my seat, so buddy gets a (shift) lol then gets a blanket for moving, as he moves over, he just wants heat, Beau gets a off as his backside is bigger, but he gets down and then I sit down he jumps back up and snuggles with me.
  7. Dwight

    Dwight New Member

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    Are there any people in this Rhodesian Ridgeback thread that actually own a Ridgeback.
  8. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Member

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    There are few regular members active. Most of us have had a variety of breeds over the years, but none currently have an RR. I'm not sure if anyone has had one in the past, I haven't. Most of us have been around other breeds even if we haven't owned them - in rescue, show or trial circles.

    But, having had multiple breeds, I can say that the only difference in training different breeds/dogs is to find what each dog's motivation is and use it in a positive manner.
  9. Dwight

    Dwight New Member

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    Well I have owned many different breeds in my life and a RR is a totally different type of dog. RR's require a more personal touch in maintaining a bond of trust like no other dog I have ever seen. They have a independent thinking that makes training a little more challenging. Someone posted earlier that I should forget the pack mentality, but RR's thrive on this aspect of hierarchy. I thought I would find other RR's owners in this thread. Training a lab and a RR is extremely different, but I appreciate all your input and will still use your advise. I am extremely lucky I got my RR from a responsible breeder that performs genetic testing of the parents before they are allowed to breed. This has also been performed with all his bloodline and they provided testing results. I see so many mixed breed with the RR it is a shame. My RR shows great behavior that no other dogs I have owned have exhibited, and also shows rationalized stubborn behavior like no other. For some reason, he thinks he always has a choice to follow my commands, and will only perform them if we are getting along. I'm sure we will work things out together so he gets his CGC award. After that, we will start training in something else. Have a great new year.
  10. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Member

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    Having choices are good. And a smart dog will want to have choices just like a smart person will. If he thinks following orders is optional, you just need to find that motivation that convinces him to choose doing as you ask.

    You say "if we are getting along" - so what causes you NOT to get along? What is it you do that makes him decide he's going to ignore you? Use that to work out what will get him to do it.

    Yes, I said to forget the pack mentality. Because it is faulty. The study that started the entire alpha and pack belief was faulty. They put a bunch of unrelated wild adult wolves in an enclosure together and watched them battle for contol and said "aha! Wolves fight for power!" And then someone decided if wolves do that then so do dogs.

    The truth is that wolves and dogs are social animals. They do have "packs" but leadership is not absolute. It fluctuates. Who is leading depends on the circumstances. Dad may take an older pup hunting while Mom moves the newest litter to a new den with the help of another older pup(s). Dad will then follow her scent to the new den. Mom makes independent decisions, Dad makes independent decisions, the pups make independent decisions. And they trust one another.

    So when we talk about "pack mentality" in regards to dogs, we are talking about an artificial hierarchy based on a lack of understanding. Most often, thinking of "pack hierarchy" is justification for controlling and forcing a dog to our will. And that is where we get it wrong every time. You don't want to force a dog to obey - you want to convince them that you are trustworthy and have their best interests at heart. That creates the bond between you. And that convinces the dog that listening to you is a good thing.

    If your boss always cuts your pay if you make a mistake, you may stop making mistakes but you will lose respect for them and will resent them. If your boss gives you a bonus whenever you go beyond your job, you will want to keep doing more and you will respect them. Rather than denying you, the successful boss motivates you. In an intern position, that motivation isn't money - the boss has to work out another way to motivate. That may be recognition, a special parking place, a highly sought after task, a day off, etc.

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