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Did we once... have a joke thread? General Chat

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Malka, Jul 27, 2016.

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  1. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #381 Aug 9, 2019
    That makes total sense! :023:

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  2. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #382 Aug 9, 2019
    Malka likes this.
    I just went out to bring my washing in and I saw my nextdoor neighbour had hung herself from her line! So I phoned her husband to tell him, and as he was crying to me on the phone I asked him what he wanted me to do? And he replied 'If it rains, bring her in for me!'
  3. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #383 Aug 9, 2019
    BronsonTheBulldog likes this.
    Gareth - I really do not need your jokes to make me have accidents, but you do make me laugh so much at times!
  4. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #384 Aug 9, 2019
    Glad i can be of service Juli. :039:
  5. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #385 Aug 9, 2019
    I applied for a job as an 'area' manager, but I didn't get it, coz I wasn't hairy enough!!!
  6. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #386 Aug 9, 2019
    BronsonTheBulldog likes this.
    Anyone care to join me and 'ava go at Gareth? :005:
  7. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #387 Aug 15, 2019
    BronsonTheBulldog and CaroleC like this.
    [​IMG] ​
  8. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #388 Aug 17, 2019
    [​IMG]​
  9. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #389 Aug 19, 2019

    [​IMG] ​
  10. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #390 Aug 21, 2019
    CaroleC likes this.

    [​IMG] ​
  11. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #391 Aug 21, 2019
    Malka likes this.
    Whenever anyone asks 'does anyone know any CPR?' I reply, i know bad moon risin'!!! :035::005:
  12. CaroleC

    CaroleC Member

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    #392 Aug 21, 2019
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    Damn. I will be humming that all night now!
  13. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #393 Aug 21, 2019
    Used to love playing it in my band.
  14. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #394 Aug 22, 2019
    BronsonTheBulldog likes this.
    Is this you in your band?

    [​IMG] ​
  15. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #395 Aug 22, 2019
    Malka likes this.
    Totally. Complete with Hip flask in my sky rocket!
  16. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #396 Aug 23, 2019
    How sayings change. ​

    It used to be...

    "A tidy house is a sign of a cluttered mind"
    ​
    but now it is...

    "A tidy house is a sign that the internet is down"​
  17. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #397 Aug 28, 2019
    The worse thing about having a Colostomy Bag, finding shoes to match?
  18. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #398 Aug 28, 2019
    Umm - umm - no Gareth, colostomy bags are not something to joke about. Sorry.
  19. BronsonTheBulldog

    BronsonTheBulldog Member

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    #399 Aug 29, 2019
    Sorry Juli, no offence intended. It's just I was always taught to try and laugh at hardships in life and not let them define who we are.

    Like on the morning of my dad's funeral, as the hearse entered the street, everyone was really tense and upset. The house lights flickered (my dad used to be an electrician!) So I just jokingly come out with 'Yes Dad, we know your here don't worry! Which broke the tension, and everyone smiled.

    But I'm sorry if I upset you Juli!
  20. Malka

    Malka Member

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    #400 Aug 29, 2019
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    No no no Gareth - I know you did not mean any offense so do not worry.

    But your story about your dad's funeral reminded me so much of some really funny things when Father died. He died on a Friday morning but it was too late to lay him to rest until the Sunday because of the Sabbath. So. Older sister turned up and went to open the front door by the door knocker handle, which broke.

    And older sister said "Daddy will kill me". And Mother and I had hysterics!

    On the Sunday evening, the first evening of major prayers, older sister saw someone and said "oh look, even whosit from the fruit shop is here" - and I just lost it in more hysterics. And of course everyone thought I was crying because I was upset, not that I was having hysterical laughter.

    And then the telephone rang and someone, never knew who it was, asked to speak with Father.

    Oh heck - Father made sure that we knew he was still with us!
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