Good morning all, Since Copper's passing this past Monday I have had many emotions. I feel guilty for not spending more time with him. I feel sad that he is no longer with us. I feel as if I am on a rollercoaster. I also feel guilty for considering getting another dog. There is a void in our house without one. I know Copper would want us to be happy as that is why dogs were put on the earth...but still. Thanks for listening.
Such a sad time for you Let some time pass and be kind to yourself, hopefully this will give you chance to deal with everything emotionally xx
It is only natural to have guilty feelings when it is us that has had to make that final decision. I have at various times felt guilty, (and still do), because I left the decision too late, thought I made the decision too quickly, or was not able to be there to share those final moments. I never feel guilty about getting a new dog though, and usually have another neck to hug within a few weeks. There is nothing like the healing power of a dog's gaze. A decision for you to make in the New Year?
There is no need to feel guilty Jessica because you did the right thing by giving Copper pain-free peace. Just as I gave my beloved Pereg peace. Of course you are grieving and will probably still feel as if you are on that rollercoaster for a long time yet. And please do not feel guilty about considering another dog. Pereg was given peace on 1 April 2015 and I was given a puppy, Baby Ziva, a couple of weeks later - I could not bear being alone without that ""My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." [Edith Wharton.] Baby Ziva went back to be looked after when I had an emergency hospital admission after she had only been with me for 11 days, and the bdooly woman LOST her. That was on 1 May 2015 and when it was obvious she could not be found [probably thrown into one of the agricultural fields, which is what can and does happen to unwanted tiny puppies, my little Tikva came into my life. Just as Baby Ziva was a respect to my beloved Pereg, not a replacement for her, so Tikki Tikva is with me in respect of them both. And by you getting another dog it will be in respect of Copper and the love you had for him, not a replacement for him. This is for you from Tikki and from me.
When I lost my first dog after almost 16 years, I instantly knew I wanted another dog. I ended up with Nigredo. I did love him and for a while was happy I got him, but as he got older, I realized he was nothing like my Brownie. The exact opposite actually. I failed to consider that the new dog wouldn't be like my old dog. I began to regret my decision. And as the years go by, there's still no replacing my Brownie. Nigredo, while a nice boy, just isn't the same. I won't ever get another dog and I truly do wish I had given it more time before I got another. I may have decided that it wasn't a good idea. But don't feel guilty. You did what you thought was right. And there's no going back now. Give it some time before you decide to get another dog. Make sure it's what you really want. Thinking of you during these times.
What you are feeling is natural - we all beat ourselves up. Similarly, we all react differently as to whether or when to get another dog. I didn't want a replacement Sam, I wanted a dog to share my home and love and Rosie came into my home a week after he passed. For me, it was a very good decision, be we are all different. She isn't Sam, she was never meant to be, but she is the heart of my home and is a decision I could never, ever regret.
I have realized not all dogs are alike. I had to explain that to my daughter as she stated she wants the next dog to be exactly like Copper. I am thinking when we get another dog it will be sooner rather than later. Thanks for all your kind words.
One of the many things my mentor taught me was that if a couple wanted one of my puppies because they had just lost theirs - even if they were not on the waiting list for one - to give them a virtual interrogation on the telephone, and if I was satisfied let them come to see the puppies, together with photographs of the one they had just lost, especially in their home and with their children if they had any. And - if their previous Griffon was a red rough, to steer them towards a red smooth and vice versa, so they would not try to make the puppy into the one they had just lost. I only ever bent my rules once. I had a desperate telephone call from a man saying his wife was absolutely distraught because they had just lost their beloved Griff and please could they come to see the puppies [most people in the breed knew I had the Z babies]. So they came and the young woman looked totally devastated, crying almost non-stop, and one little rough girl went straight to her and it was a mutual instant bond. But even though the Griffon they had just lost was also a red rough, this this little girl was blonder - actually light according to the breed standard, so I said yes, they could have her, but NOT today. Sleep on it and telephone me tomorrow. And they came back and the young woman looked amazing - beautifully make-up - you would have thought it was a different person, until the puppy saw her and rushed to her, squeaking happily. Somewhere I have photographs of it and I still vividly remember her taking her mink coat off [yes, fur was "OK" in those days], wrapping the puppy up in it and carrying her to their car. This time the tears streaming down her face were tears of joy. That little puppy was not a replacement for the one they had just lost - I kept in contact with them for some time afterwards and they always said how different she was although just as loving, and how happily she had settled down as soon as they took her into their house. No new furkids can ever replace or replicate a lost one - they are their own individuals with their own personalities - and loved just as much for what and how they are.
There is always room in our hearts for all our pets, be they with us or they have passed. Just as love expands with each new child, so does our love expand for each new pet. Hearts do not grow physically, but the love inside them is infinite. As are our souls - keeping the souls of our loved ones always with us.
But even still, I can't bring myself to get rid of Nigredo. I do love him and I also realize that in this area, nobody else would care for him. He's got allergies, wonky hips, and weird toes and stuff and people barely care for their kids here. I can't bear the thought of him being sad or unhappy. Of him being fed the same cheap dog food I see in everyone's trash cans. He would itch insane and lose all his hair. He's such a happy boy. Curly tail always wagging. I want to keep it that way as long as possible. Even the fleas love him lol. In any case, in a way I'm glad I have him, even if it only means there's at least SOMEONE TRYING to care for him.
Hello everyone. Thank you for your kind words and condolences. We are currently looking at getting a pit bull mix pup. He is a darling and so sweet. This decision has not been made lightly and I am aware he will not replace Copper. He will be ready to come home sometime in the next few days. Thanks again for all your support in this trying time.
I think that Copper decided to send the puppy to you as thanks for having loved and looked after him all the time he was a member of your family. I wish you all the best with your new baby and look forward to seeing lots of pictures and updates on how he gets on. (((hugs))) That is what I thought when Baby Ziva arrived at my door in the arms of my neighbour, that she had been sent to me by Pereg, although sadly that was just not to be - but Tikki Tikva was definitely sent by Pereg as she has so many of the same habits, one of which being "singing" at the top of her voice when I am on the telephone, and disliking the same sort of people if she sees them walk past. But in other ways she is totally different because she is Tikki and not Pereg, and I love her just as much as I loved Pereg - who is still in my heart and why I will not change my avatar.
