I have always just assumed that I can ask my 13 year old son to help with the dogs even if they are my responsibility. Like last night, I have not been sleeping for the past three weeks and finally gave up and got something to help me sleep. Then I went to bed at 9 last night and asked my son to take care of the dogs untill he went to bed which was just after 11. When I woke up this morning all dogs were at their design areas. Desty was in bed with me, Leo and Bailie in their crates and Hector (I am dogsitting) was in his own crate. All had been let out and all gates were secured. My son had even taken the cockatiels out of my bedroom and set them in the living room where the bird cage is. (I have a cockatiel that likes to follow me around the house and sometimes sleeps in my bed but since I am watching my brothers tiel I don´t let them sleep in my room) But I just found out that this is not a normal currency and that most teenagers can not be depended on like this. How is it with your teenagers?
When I use to foster teenagers, I gave then jobs to do around the house, but could not force or insist that they did them
Because of the foster rules we can only ask the teenagers to wash up/hoover/dust/tidy their rooms, but if they don't want to then they don't have to.
I'm the official A-Hole in the family. My daughter knows, if you don't help out without being asked, I'll point it out next time you want something, and you will being doing a major chore then to get it. All 3 my step daughters if they don't help there mom when they are here, (when needed) I'll say no to baby sitting, or whatever request next time asked. Then again my daughter will be 18 in Feb, and hers are 24, 26, and 30. All in all there all very good about helping there mom.
I brought up two teenage sons as a single mum. My younger son always called us "The Three Musketeers".... "All for one and one for all"! My younger son would often prepare meals, do the ironing, work in the garden or feed the dogs whilst the older one who thought those chores were "woman's work" would do things like sorting out repairs around the house or to the car. Sadly my younger son died 4 years ago but my other one is wonderful. I only have to phone him and say I have a problem like I did when I fractured my hip and he flew over from the UK the following day and cared for me for nearly two months .... mind you he's still not domesticated and NEVER does the washing up as he still maintains its "woman's work".
But there's no such thing as "woman's work" is there ? I have 3 very helpful men that as soon as they see me touching their power tools, come flying over & asks me what I want doing, I never get to play with their power tools they just don't trust me at all.
Same here Tina ... When I moved in here Alex spend two months working on the house putting in tonged and grooved ceilings in all the rooms and building me a fitted kitchen amongst other things. As he'd flown over all his power tools were left in the UK and we had to buy new and is he particular about them! Most of the smaller ones are stored under my bed as he won't let anyone else use them and every time he comes over one of the first thing he does is get them all out and spread them all over the kitchen and that's where they're left ... for me to clear up after he's gone home!
Now see in our house it's the opposite. I have my private tool box and can fix virtually anything except the electrical system...and in a pinch I could probably do that too. However I can't cook to save my life. My son, daughter or hubby happily prepare meals. Everyone does random cleaning and laundry. The critter care and plants are my sole responsibility by choice. I can get somebody to feed dogs n' cats and let them out if I'm working late. But I think I do a better job caring for the living things. Besides kids can lie-"Did you feed the cats?" "Sure, yeah, Emma fed them before we ate, yup they were fed"...the new bag of cat food is still on the porch where I put it that morning sealed. Yeah I'll do the pet and plant detail meself.
How are you expected to take care of children and send them out into the world as adults if you are not allowed to teach them to take care of themselves? I do not mean to be disrespectul, I find fostering an admirable task and find this very curious.
Here in England there are many rules when it comes to fostering, the main things are we not allowed to punish or withhold pocket money, can't sent them to their rooms, can only ask them to help with housework, not allowed to stop them from leaving anytime of the day/night, I looked after trouble teenagers that were one step away from going to juvenile prison, it was hard work& rewarding we each learnt to trust each other.
I don´t know if we have similar rules here but I believe that it would be tough. I have only taken in troubled dogs, I can´t imagine doing the same with children although I guess in the basics it would be similar. Kudos to you for helping these children
In my household I take care of everything that needs to be done. My father made sure that I could handle any tools just as well as my brother can. Although if it takes climbing a ladder, I will call my sister in law. I am terrified of heights.
I applaud you for being a foster parent as well. I could do that for infants and toddlers but teens? Arghh didn't have much luck with my birth kids as teenagers nevah mind fostering them. Takes a special mindset indeed to guide teens...bless you.
I fostered newborns that their mothers wanted adopted from birth. They had six weeks in which to change their minds and sign the official papers or take the babies back. If they signed the papers the babies then went to their adoptive parents. I could not have fostered older children and definitely not teenagers.
We too fostered for 10 years, we fostered lads between 12 - 17 who mostly had been in trouble with the police, believe me it was much easier to get our own girls to help out round the house, as they understood that being part of the family meant helping out
The hardest part of fostering human children, cats, dogs would be giving them back I'm sure. One success story I know personally. Best buddie's sister fostered a young boy and girl as both parents were away on drug charges. The parents were released in a year or so...then picked up yet again. The kids went back to the same foster family. Finally some years later after the third or fourth offense on the parent's part, the judge cut off parental rights and the children got their foster family as a forever home. Both are grown and doing well now.
I can't tell you how many people berated me for allowing a 3 year old to load the dishwasher while the 4 yr. rinsed. They were my kids and they asked to do it. Playing in the water was fun! I saw no harm in it. The rule was no throwing the dishes. Splash the water all you want. Then they would help clean the floor. Guess I was a weird parent for the times......1970's. I did many other things that were thought strange, but, ya know, I have two wonderful children. A boy and a girl. No problems with the law, good jobs, no drug history...I must have done something right. I also raised a neighborhood boy of a different race, which was very taboo at the time, just because he was my sons best friend, was neglected and I loved him.
Something I give my kid credit for, cleaning the litter boxes. She thinks it's rewarding that she's helping the kits...does a good job too.
LOL My kids volunteered to do a lot with the animals. But not that. You must have a very special child!
