How do you decide on a breed when you have a clash of opinions? Discussions

as some of you may know i now have a partner, who i am very lucky with in the fact he loves dogs, and understands that i do alot with my dogs, am slightly dog mad and that they come first

obviously i am talking way way way off into the future when we could potentially be living together. he accepts my dogs, and i accept his (also his mums so in all fairness it probably wouldnt come with if we did move) he has a poodle, but we have both said we wouldnt of chosen each others breed of dog if we were buying a dog ourselves.

he already knows the next dog i want is going to be a bigger breed. dont get me wrong i like my little uns but i really want a bigger dog.

this is where our opinions already start to clash, because he doesnt like weimaraners and obviously this is the dog i was going for. its not fair to bring a breed in surely that he isnt going to like? even though im pretty sure he would be convinced once living with it

he has said he would like a staffy... i have no problem with him wanting a staffy, but have explained i would much rather get one from rescue than buy a puppy, but hes convinced he wants a puppy, and admittedly even though i like staffys they wouldnt be my next choice.

he then said he would also likes huskys. i already know this is a no, i dont think i could offer the type of home one needs, and i know he couldnt. i think he judges dogs on looks, and doesnt know much about what the dog actually needs.

third on the list was an akita... and although nice dogs, not one i would choose to own myself.

so those of you with you partners, how did you decide on a breed you wanted together? did you have clashes of opinions and still do? did you get the dog your partner wasnt keen on and now they are converted?

im obviously not looking at right now, i do mean a long time away, but it took me so long to find a breed i wanted and then breeders i like, that chances are if i have to start all over again by the time we actually came to a decision of a breed, im looking at years and years away

It's quite easy for me to be honest. My hubby doesn't "do" dogs, so as long as it wasn't a bull breed or a rottie, because it'd be my dog, he left me to choose.

HOWEVER... As a rottie is my fave breed, when our son is older, I'm going to get him into persuading the hubby for one lol. I'll compromise and only have it from a puppy if this will help, but I WILL get one one day lol.

He was PETRIFIED of dogs before we got Jess, so he's come a long long way, which is why I allow him to be choosy to a certain extent.

When we were looking for a second dog, he said he'd love a Sibe... So I said I'd do as much exercise with it as I do with Jess, and he can do the extra, and once extra was mentioned, he soon changed his mind lol (he doesn't and won't walk the dogs)

see this is my problem, because i know full well i would do the majority of the work.

dont get me wrong he walks his dog, and feeds it.. but as far as im concerned this isnt enough. without sounding wrong, his dog is "just a pet" if you know what i mean? he isnt necessarily walked every day (i take him out now a bit though) and he has no training whatsoever. i wouldnt want a breed he chose, that i didnt really want end up turning out like this and me having to do the work.

I'd wanted a Dobermann since I was 10 but the Ex was adamant he didn't want one so I chose other dogs which were a compromise at the time but once they arrived certainly never felt like a compromise. Our first dog together was a cocker spaniel so not even close to a Dobermann and he was a great dog. We then had a Boxer and that dog turned out to be the love of my life dogwise and then a Parson Russell another fab dog. I have no regrets over any of them and I think most of us compromise in one way or another due to the amount of time we have, where we live, family commitments etc. Funnily enough once the Ex became the Ex the Dobermanns started to arrive and luckily my OH had them on his wish list too although a Rottie was his number one choice but after much discussion the Dobermanns won.

obviously i will love any dog that comes into my house, but i just get the feeling that he would get his akita or husky or whatever and i would have to do all of the work

i may convince him to come to a dog show, or discover dogs or something. even hand him a book and get him to look through it and actually read what some dogs are like.

my wish list of breeds is quite long and they are all quite different.. my main ones on there though are my weimaraner and a great dane. they are my two biggest ones, but i have numerous others on there

You'd still have to agree on the compromise breed though so if you didn't want an akita, husky or staffy then that shouldn't be your compromise breed.

may have to get him thinking about it properly in what he would actually want from a dog, rather than just cuddles on the sofa and something to walk with as the majority of dogs do that

i want a bigger breed, one i can possibly do obedience with, and maybe agility. one that has a bit of brains behind him aswell as good looks we go camping alot, so dog would have to like that (not many dogs that dont like it ) and one we can let off lead comfortably, which rules out breeds like huskys etc.

I would say give it time! No need to be ruling out breeds just yet. When I met OH, he wasn't really a 'big dog' person, his ex having a JRT. He actually later admitted to me that he was scared of my two to start with! Anyway, now he's converted to big dogs, he loves that they're big enough to wrestle, they're the right height for an ear rub, and you're not worried about squishing them underfoot - his aunt has a little dog and we visited the other weekend, OH was terrified of hurting this tiny little thing
Also he wasn't aware of the rescue situation, his ex having got the dog from a free-ad type breeder. I just explained to him about BYBs and puppymills, that rescue dogs weren't always problem dogs, etc. - we've been to the local Battersea branch a few times and he's fallen for a couple of dogs, I'm sure he would have taken the lovely Staffie home there and then had she been alright with other dogs!
Maybe he's heard things about Weimeraners that have put him off, or had a bad experience - my only experience with Weims was a school friend who had two that were very OTT (don't think they were walked much) and then a group of 4 or 5 that a customer of a petshop I worked at owned - they went everywhere with her in her car but were very protective of it so you had to stop about 10' from the car and leave her shopping there, or they went nuts! But I know not to judge a breed on a few individuals, whereas some people get a bad impression and assume it's a breed-trait. You could always slowly get him used to larger dogs (not necessarily started with Weims) by volunteering at a rescue to walk dogs or something.
My OH has slowly gained confidence with them and is now happy to walk them without me there - took a couple of years for him to get to that stage though. He'll get a say in the next dog we choose but he's said that he's more likely to want to go to rescues and pick a dog for its individual traits and personality, rather than limit it to a breed. I have agreed to compromise on some stuff though, e.g. probably aim for a breed/dog that sheds less than a GSD!

My OHs family wanted a husky but I printed all sorts of info about them being landscapers, escape artists, upset when left especially unstimulated, hard to train etc and fortunately they decided against one. They are such stubbing dogs but certainly not for the faint hearted.

My OH and parents both had a role in choosing a buhund as even though she's mine, they all have to spend time with her too.

I got a dog book and went through every page and put markers in the dogs I quite liked. OH did the same. We reached a few we agreed on, read up way more info before deciding

My criteria were quite stringent so that helped narrow it down (under 25kg, short to mid coat, active, not a terrier).

Perhaps both make a list of what you are looking for in a dog (looks aside to begin with). Shortlist that then begin to be narrow them down based on appearance.

yes could maybe introduce him to some weims and show him how nice they can be. doesnt help the ones we have round here arent very nice, theres one which goes physco and runs up and down the fence, it doesnt get on with other dogs, and i think it has bitten before now, but then again, i have never seen it walked, its like you said you cant judge a breed on the few you have met..

im not rushing into anything, but its a topic that has come up which we have differeing opinions on.. only think that we have differed on actually but we are moving quite quickly relationship wise (already talking about moving in together ) but i think its because we arent really a "new couple" we have known each other forever so already know everything about each other etc.

yeah that could be a good idea.. as i dont think he actually knows what he wants, he likes having dogs around, walking it, and feeding etc, but i dont think he would do any dog specific activities, his are simply just a pet dog.. where as i have ideas of what i want to do with them.

I wanted a GSD, OH wanted a spaniel. It's my turn to choose next (in my head it is anyway )

so you get your gsd next then? ;-)

Exactly!!!

ahh but if we did that, that means i dont get my own way and will end up with one he wants

From the platform of my great age and spinsterhood I'd say it's early days to be worrying about this. You haven't been with him that long and who's to say what the future holds;-)

Perhaps get him to write down ideal size, group, activity level, coat length, ease of training, whether he wants to be able to do anything etc.

I know what you mean though about just being a standard dog owner.. OH thinks walking everyday is excessive and no dog needs it. He says a 20 minute walk a couple of times a week should do the trick, yet he wants a GSD in the future!

I'm sure at some point in the future you will find a compromise glad things are going well together.

oh i know that, its hard to explain how our relationship works though, doesnt seem like we have only been going out a short time.. but thats off on a tangent anyway

was just wondering what people did when their partners wanted different things when it comes to dogs.

i know think its because the dog he has now is "easy" he presumes they will all be the same no matter what either way i can see it happening, it will be me doing everything

and thanks, we are doing very well so much easier that he was a friend first anyway!

what about a PUPPY from a RESCUE :-D